Tag: poetry

  • Future Plans

    Future Plans

    At a small vacation

    house in Camden, in

    an enclosed front

    porch, I look

    at the surface of ocean in

    a daze and imagine

    floating where the waves lap

    up and up, licking

    the strawberry-

    hued clouds.

    We left

    the cracked glass

    candle burning in

    a bowl, melted wax

    splaying in a gauzy,

    frosting spiderweb, thick

    over burnished gold.

    These days feel impossible

    how the clocks turn from day-to

    -night, day tonight.

    I try to savor

    it, but my impatience for

    nothing bleeds through, persistent,

    leaving me

    restless, humming like

    an old running

    motor of a forgotten, revved-up

    lawn mower, wanting more and

    longing for days

    undone. 

  • Breaking Up

    Breaking Up

    I crack

    an unvarnished egg and

    its ripe,

    orange yolk falls

    to pewter floor tile.

    Absentmindedly,

    I grab

    the kitchen broom, then

    come to my senses. 

    I try

    to scoop the egg’s insides

    it oozes

    through the spaces 

    between my fingers.

    Instinctively,

    I think

    to make a mask,

    then reconsider.

    Staring at mess,

    I wonder

    how quickly can things go

    so wrong

    Are all pristine things

    made to break

    too soon?

  • Losing It

    Losing It

    A small, wilted plant is perched on the charcoal countertop of a cramped studio apartment kitchen. From the confines of my hospital mattress, I will it to mend, sending mind waves to my old flat. When a soul breaks, does it splinter delicately like sea glass dropped on the surface of bronzed beach shore sands? Or does it split neatly into two chunks like a thick ivory porcelain platter meeting hardwood plank? Every single morning, I swallow my pills, and every single evening, I do the same. The nurses say it’s too soon to celebrate discharge day. So, we bleed into one another like the months on the wall calendar, like wet ink on damp notebook paper. Bleed like the wrists of my roommate patched up, stitched up, wrapped up in gauze. We float down psych unit hallways like misfit ghosts: professors, musicians, painters, restaurant owners, and radio personalities – shuffling in loose gowns from one scheduled group therapy session to some other, patiently commanding our psyches to convalesce. Every morning, sunlight seeps through frosted security windows with grated metal covers, gunmetal crosshatched over glass dense and sharp and clouded as icebergs floating across the Arctic. The wind whispers words that tell stories of freedom and peace and home – stories that patients like us will never profoundly know. 

  • The Lovers (VI)

    The Lovers (VI)

    Our love

    is like dusty

    land scorched

    from arid heat.

    A centuries-old

    volcano, still active

    and threatening

    eruption. 

    We beg

    the gods for airs

    wet and sweet, but

    the rain never falls.

    How best

    to describe a thing

    so thick 

    and oppressive? 

    That fills

    us up and lays us

    out, bloated

    and plump to the touch.

    What leaves words

    limp and inadequate,

    yet binds us

    forever. 

    Such sounds

    insufficient – how many 

    ways to say souls 

    split then sewn back together?

  • Ambition to Heal

    Ambition to Heal

    A little girl posed in a baby pink leotard wearing pearly white tights, glossy tap shoes, and birthday-cake-icing-thick stage makeup. “Remember how they would go click-clack so loud as you would practice around the house?” Mother tries to relate to me as she holds up the polaroid. Thoughts float through my skull, slow as snowflakes in Christmas-morning flurries. I forgot how to respond to a question like this. You ever stand in a grocery store line and try to be a normal person? It is so boring where we are, the only thing we have to do is look back. We are sitting on cheap sheets, crepe-thin pillows, and papier-mâché blankets as we wait for the doctor to approve me being discharged. We wait. We wait. I feel my brain melt and ooze out of my ears. In winters past, we might have frozen, but it’s already mid-summer now, and so many orange years later. The nurse finally hands me my paper bag of belongings and list of new prescriptions and waves goodbye slow as tree sap slipping down a car windshield. These days, thoughts don’t come quick. These days, meds make time turn slow. My soul: shattered and rearranged, I mourned the person who died inside of me when I lost my mind.  

  • cotton candy

    cotton candy

    Cotton candy has nothing

    on the way you

    delight me with every

    mouthful of your love. 

    I chew and savor

    until it disappears,

    melting in my mouth

    and I beckon you for more.

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  • I Tried

    I Tried

    Can we talk

    about how many times

    I almost blocked your

    number? Deleted you from

    my life completely.

    The end. But somehow,

    our bond only grows

    stronger and tougher and

    more gnarled, rooted in thick

    soil like suntanned oak trees

    with thousands of rings

    in manicured suburban

    neighborhoods. I couldn’t rip

    you out of me,

    even if I tried.

  • glue poem

    glue poem

    Our friends say

    that we are fools

    to stay in love

    with each other,

    but I can’t unstick

    myself from the

    glue that attaches

    me to you.

  • breakup poem

    breakup poem

    Getting over our breakup

    almost broke me.

    That night you came crawling,

    I almost took you back.

    Then I looked in the mirror

    and chose me instead.

  • Whole Again

    Whole Again

    I know how to make a bouquet

    from scratch. I pull out daisies

    dead and molded from the dank water

    from the purple vase, wash it clean,

    and throw the flowers in the garbage.

    There were no more flowers since

    the day you walked out, the house

    suddenly lost its charm and natural

    light, and I found new ways to

    make myself whole again.